Life IS A Joy: 4 Ways to A Healthier, Happier Marriage

October 22, 2011 | posted in: Relationships | by 32 Comments

Marriage  is such an exciting adventure unless of course its not!!! Sometimes we can feel dissatisfied, angry, bored, judgmental and don’t even know how we got to that place. Your marriage may only need an attitude adjustment and that can be done even by only one partner. An immediate and lasting transformation is possible if you are willing to make a shift.

Here are 4 ideas to support that shift.

1. Most importantly you must decide IF you WANT this marriage!! You won’t work to make it better if at the core of your being you don’t want to be there. Dance in the question of what you want to be sure if your commitment is still alive.

2. Focus on what is working in the relationship. Remember how you met, the early years, the good times throughout the years.

a) Whatever you focus on will expand be it positive or negative so why not focus of what makes you feel good. Simple right? But not always easy because we develop habits of thought that require awareness in order to change. Every Time you find yourself telling that old story about your partner to yourself or others, STOP and shift to what is RIGHT about them rather than what is wrong! If you have decided that you WANT to be committed to this marriage, then it is not difficult to pivot away from judgment and shine the light of love on this person you are married too.

3. Write a new story describing how you would like to FEEL in this marriage.

a) Once you have decided that you really do want this marriage to work, let go of the story you have been telling yourself of what is wrong.

b) Write a new story and I really to mean to write it down so you can read it whenever you fall back into old critical habits.

c) List the ways that bring joy to you in the relationship and begin to act them out. Whatever you want from your partner, give it to them and watch how they reciprocate.

4. Seek first to understand.

a) Your feelings of discontent within the marriage is more than likely mirrored by your spouses discontent.

b) share your feelings of discontent not focused on judgment of them but owning that your life is not as joyous as you would like. It is important to be vulnerable from a place of being responsible for your own feelings. No one can make you unhappy. Unhappiness comes from within you. It is not caused by what another does or does not do.


32 Responses to Life IS A Joy: 4 Ways to A Healthier, Happier Marriage
  1. I know this is so true…and it is so easy to do when the marriage is going well. The only time I have troubling doing these things are the very times I need to do them most! I guess that is the challenge and the growing part…learning to do it when you don’t feel like it! Great post!

    • Yes, your are right. The most difficult time to remember to seek a higher vision for your marriage is when there is trouble in paradise, which we all face from time to time. That is why it is good to be reminded and don’t we teach what we most need to learn???? Marriage is always an adventure!!

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